I Saw God Today

He sat in his wheelchair, looking at me wistfully.  His body was deformed, and he seemed a bit disoriented.  No one seemed to be paying much attention to him as the lobby was bustling with patients, nurses, alarms and Elvis.

"Do you have ten minutes to talk to me?" he asked softly. 

Unsure of how to respond, I looked toward my colleague, who was distracted at the nurse's station.  As I hesitated, he softly spoke again:

"Don't look at her.  Look at me.  Do you have ten minutes to talk to me?" 

So many thoughts went through my mind in quick succession: 

Do I have ten minutes?
Am I allowed to talk to him?
Is he experiencing dementia and thinks I'm someone he knows?

And, ultimately (and what I'm ashamed to admit): 
Is he going to say or do something that makes me uncomfortable? 

Pushing all of these questions aside, I finally looked at him.  Not just glanced in his general direction, but I locked eyes with him and held his gaze, took his hand and said, "Yes, I have time." 

So we talked.  About nothing really, but about everything at the same time.  More was exchanged in those few minutes than the past three hours of conversation I had been having with other people.  He was very soft spoken and didn't make a lot of sense.  But when I shook his hand to signal I needed to leave, his next words stunned me:

"It has been an absolute joy to talk to you today." 

We had talked for less than five minutes about nothing that seemed to matter, and it is highly likely he doesn't even remember it now.  But that wasn't the point.  He wanted to be acknowledged, to be accepted as a human being who could carry on a conversation. 

He wanted to be seen. 

And God allowed me...me, filled with selfishness, hurriedness, uncertainty and judgment...He allowed ME to SEE this man for those few moments.  I had to fight back tears as I walked away.  Who am I to deserve such grace to get to witness this incredible life, even if for but a moment?  Who am I to be chosen to be at THIS place, at THIS time, for THIS moment?   

As I was leaving, the nurse told me not to pay attention to him because he is needy and inappropriate a lot of the time.  I'm sure he is, and there are always reasons to be careful.  But I am glad that for those few moments God empowered me to let go of what anyone else thought about what I was doing.  He helped me see past how anyone else judged this man (myself included), and SEE HIM.  I am deeply humbled that God didn't let me miss that moment.  My cup overflows. 

I saw God today.